Rain On The Window

He gets on the radio to call for help:MARIO: "Mayday! Mayday! Mya boat, she issa starting to sink! The motor, she noa wanta start! Pleasa senda help!"AMSA: "This is Maritime Rescue. We acknowledge your signal. Rescue services have been notified."Mario continues to wait, while the boat sinks lower and lower into the water. When the boat is barely afloat, Mario calls again:MARIO: "Mayday! Mya boat, she hassa almost sunk! I needa help NOW!"AMSA: "This is Maritime Rescue. Acknowledged. Our Focker Friendship is on its way out to you now."MARIO: "Look, I noa needa your Focker Friendship! I needa your Focker Help!!"The Italian Wedding(Note 1: the groom, Luigi, has a secret, of which his bride is unaware - when he was young, he lost half of his foot in an accident. However, the prosthetic he wears works so well that it is hard to tell there is anything wrong with his foot)(Note 2: the bride, Maria, being a good girl, has stayed pure and virtuous for her wedding, and so is innocent of many. I had seen her before and had thought that she was pretty cute. She had chin length, jet black hair and dark eyes, that were almost black. She had a pale complexion and a slim build. I said, what the hell, to myself and went over to strike up a conversation. She seemed a little shy but sweet, a lot different from the girls that I was use to fucking. Her name was Melanie and she was a college student at one of the local state universities. She was working here during the summer, because they paid really nice. I asked her if I could take here out some time, she suggested that I meet her at the bar here at the hotel. I told her that I was only seventeen and she was surprised, she said that I looked a lot older. I found out that she was twenty one years old. She told me that she knew the bartender and that if I really wanted to meet her there, that I would be ok. This seemed like a plan to me and I arranged to meet her there at six. As I was getting ready for my date, my mother knocked.
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